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The young boy leapt off of the school bus and burst through the
front door, rushing to make his way to his bedroom. His mother called for him to slow down, but
he couldn’t hear her over his own excitement; he had been waiting all day to
finally play with his new toys. When he
opened the door to his room, he shrieked with excitement when he saw the antique
chest sitting on the floor. The chest
and all of its contents were given to the boy by his grandfather, who had been given
it by his grandfather – they were at least a hundred years old. He propped open the lid and briefly admired
the trinkets before yanking out a delicately crafted train and the accompanying
wooden sections. He assembled the long,
intricate track and placed the train on one end. “All aboard! Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy
the ride,” he announced as he gently pushed the train toward the other end,
delightfully making sound effects as the train rolled along. He suddenly felt a strange pull on the train and
he let go in surprise. He watched in
amazement as the train moved along the tracks by itself, quickly picking up
speed.
The antique toy train. Courtesy of the California State Railroad Museum and Wikimedia Commons |
“Does it feel like we’re going faster to you, honey? Like, a
lot faster?” the woman said to her husband as she peered out of the window of
the train. “Hmm?” he replied, only half listening as he continued to type on
his laptop. She continued watch the trees zoom by, trying to ignore the sinking
feeling in her stomach. “Does it feel
like we’re going too fast?” she repeated after a few minutes, this time putting
her hand on her husband’s shoulder. “Look,”
she insisted. He sighed and glanced out
of her window to appease her, but he felt uneasy with what he saw. Everything outside of the train was almost
indistinguishable - the forest looked like a green blur. He began to notice that the train ride felt
more like an airplane zooming down a runway.
“Yeah, yeah,” he hesitated, “you’re right, we are going a little fast. I’ll go ask our attendant if this is normal,”
he said as he stood up. He walked toward
the front of their carriage, noticing that other passengers were starting to
look confused and alarmed as well. As he
approached the attendant, the train went over a bump and he lurched forward, nearly
falling down. After the man regained his
balance, he squared his shoulders and softly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ma’am. Is this a normal speed for
this train?” he asked the employee sitting at the front of the train car. She turned to look at him, but said nothing.
He looked back at his wife, who was watching him anxiously, her eyebrows
furrowed. He cleared his throat again. “Doesn’t it seem like we’re going a
little fast? Is this norm- -“ Before he
could finish his question, the train hurled off of the tracks, throwing the screaming
passengers out of their seats as they plunged into a ditch.
The tragic train wreck. Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons |
The toy train clattered as it fell toppled off of the wooden
tracks. The boy stared at the train for
a moment before slowly picking it up. He
began closely examining his new toy, looking for a motor or winding mechanism
of some sort when he heard his mother calling him from downstairs -“Timmy,
dinner’s ready!” she beckoned. He
wrinkled his forehead, set the train down, and raced toward the stairs. He decided that he’d had enough of the train
for now, and that maybe he’d play with the toy airplane after dinner
instead.
What could go wrong? Courtesy of Pixabay |
Sara,
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen anyone else write about this specific story yet. I like your idea to expend on the fact that what the students do has a real effect on the professor. I also like your ending - dark and humorous at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing, I am looking forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Andrew
Hey Sara, I think your story is great. The only thing I think that could be changed is there is not a lot of detail in your story. That is my opinion though! Other than that I think your story was great! I loved how the little kid brought to life his toys with real characters. It reminds me of Toy Story.
ReplyDeleteSara! This is a really cool way to go about writing your stories. It kept me entertained the whole time and made me want to read more. I have never read the original story before now, but I have to say I like the way you changed things. It was really interesting. I love your style of reading and cannot wait to read more from you!
ReplyDeleteSara,
ReplyDeleteI like the parallel stories you wrote. I think it's really neat that the toy train affects real people, just like the bowl of water and candle affected the sorcerer. Your story is different because the boy has not been told to do something specific and fails, he just plays with toys. That makes it a little more light-hearted, at least until we feel the train passengers being hurled off the tracks into a ditch. Good time to cut back to Timmy in my opinion. Great storytelling!
Thorpe